So growing up my family had a funny dinner table ritual. My parents would threaten, "You better finish what's on the table or you'll have to eat it tomorrow, or the next day, or the next till its gone." This was one of the most formative threats of my childhood. Well that and threatening to move to me to another school away from my friends if I didn't get good grades. The food threat wasn't scary by itself, it got scary when my mom followed through in action. Seeing the same food evolve over the course of 4 days as it goes through constant refrigerating, microwave, sit on the table 2 hours, and repeat, cycle was quite revolting. Behavior modified.
It wasn't until college I really understood what was happening. My sophomore year we had 2 triples next door to each other so it ended up being 5 guys in one dorm room. The result of that was that someone was always eating. I noticed every time they were eating I'd automatically get hungry. I had developed this Pavlovian response that when I see food, I get hungry and won't stop until all the food was consumed. My parents had trained me well, but in-spite of eating 6 times a day, I still never gained a pound over 125.
These days I am an old man. So I see some parents describe the eating patterns of their child, "They will only eat pizza and chicken nuggets so that's what we feed him." So I kick into my old man mode, "Back in my day didn't matter what was offered, I had to eat it, intestines, ears, tongue, half-developed chicken embryos, whatever." But there's something to be said about that lack of choice. Does it help us that we live in such a luxurious society that we have so much access to choice?
Some of my friends in Virginia or Pittsburgh (the one in Pennsylvania) they found their sweethearts by age 19, were married by 22, and kids were popping by 24. Life was simple. Get a good job, housing prices are affordable so you save up to purchase a home, I mean everyone is doing it, then spend decades watching the Steelers, doing home improvements, drink Yuengling, and that's life.
Contrast that to the Bay Area life. Should I work at Google, Facebook, Twitter, or join a startup? We are overwhelmed with choices. What neighborhood should I live in and what does it say about me? What activities should I be involved with, skiing, kite surfing, join a band, knitting, craft breweries? Maybe this is just me, having lived in small town Virginia Beach and small town Pittsburgh, moving to the Bay Area and presented with so many options, but it is overwhelming. When I lived in Mountain View I remember I had 5 grocery stores within 1/2 a mile from me: Safeway, Nob Hill, Nijiya, Ranch, Smart & Final. And that's not even counting the plethora of options in each of those stores and extended choices through all the hot new shopping apps, Google Shopping Express, Amazon Fresh, etc.
Then comes one of the most fundamental questions: relationships and marriage. I've heard countless struggles of, "they're great but... what if there's someone better out there?" Quite different from the small town view: decent looking, of age, not repulsed by me, DONE! I wonder if successful relationships are more a factor of having a more simplified view of choice leading to a greater all-in commitment? Are people paralyzed by the uncertainty of potential incremental happiness gains by just holding out to meet a few more people?
When I go back to Virginia and stay at my parents house life is simple. The trees are tall and the streets wide. The neighborhoods are quiet and it just makes sense to go for a nice evening walk to take in the crisp air and sounds of nature. I do wonder if living in this part of California has actually improved my quality of life. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the food options to explore and enjoy which we don't have in Virginia. But maybe that's it. The choices drive decisions, decisions are hard, paralyzingly hard. Would life be richer if instead of focusing on min/maxing every decision, I just kicked back with the few things I had to enjoy? As I get older I find certain things just aren't as important to me anymore and I just go with one option and stick with it. I do wonder if this development of simplicity will lead me down a path to greater enjoyment in the few things I hold onto.